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 Perfect Day, A (2006)
IMDB rating: 5.50
Plot: A family man and suddenly-successful author encounters a mystic stranger who warns him he has only 40 more days to live. Based on a novel by Richard Paul Evans.
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Directors: Levin Peter
Actors: Lowe Rob,Lloyd Christopher,Ciccolella Jude,Dunn Kevin,Pniewski Mike,Lipari Damon,Arata Michael,Leggio Jerry,Drama,
Married, Suspicious, Confused… What do I do? (Long question)?
Ok here’s the situation.This is addition to my previous questions. So I have found out more since I have posted them as far as what is going on with my husband. But I will repost the details of my previous quesstions and at the bottom include the new details I have found out. I have been married for a little over 3yrs. My husband and I are almost perfect for each other. We have all the same interests, friends, love each other. I am so afraid of hurting him because although I love him I don’t know if I am in love with him anymore. There have been many issues that have made me feel this way including the lack of sex, chemistry, and different outlooks on the future. Recently I have been talking to a co-worker at work and we both know there is something between us. The chemistry is amazing. I have never ever cheated on anyone in my life and never thought I would ever want to. But this guy just makes me want to do things I have never thought of doing. Also, another thing… he’s got a girlfriend, which he has told me he actually really does care for, and I know he feels just as guilty. It all started as friends because I was talking to him about the issues in my marriage, but is def. growing into something more. We have been flirting a lot at work and texting as well. I’m not looking for a realtionship with this guy but can’t get over the fact that I want him so bad, and I am pretty much positive he feels the same way. I find it really hard not to act on my feelings for him, and I also feel so ashamed I feel like this. I AM NOT THAT TYPE OF GIRL!!!! But can’t let this go!!!! I daydream about intimate situations all day with us. Then I feel so guilty for feeling the way I feel. What do I do? I don’t want to hurt my husband but I think if this goes on any more we might wind up sleeping with each other, which shamefully and then again not I REALLY WANT. Should I do this just to get it out of my system, and then try to work through the other issues in my marriage? I don’t want to leave my husband and feel as though we can work through our other problems in the relationship, but if he ever found out about this then it def. would be done between us. I’m torn between lust and love. But then again I’m not sure if I am still truely IN LOVE with my husband anymore. And these feelings were there way before I started talking to my co-worker. And just to throw an other wrench into the situation… If anyone at work found out about us we both could lose our jobs.
Additional Details
Thanks everyone who sat down and actually put some thought into their answers, unlike some that just judge and offend people. But anyway… to add to my question. I have talked to my husband in the past about the lack of chemistry and physical relationship we have, and he said he just tired and always busy. I get the feeling he really just isn’t physically attracted to me but feels the same as I do as for us being so compatible in other ways. He has not shown any more effort to work on this issue and we still haven’t sex in. It doesn’t even seem to bother him. He’d rather play his video games or have friends over than spend one on one time with me. I believe there is more to his actions then he is really willing to admit.
Just so everyone knows this co-worker did not come into play until after these issues started between my husband and I. Also, throughout my whole marriage there has been somewhat a lack of trust when it comes to my husband and other women. He is very flirty, and I have found texts on his phone, and looked at the history on his computer. This evidence makes me think that there is more to this then what he is willing to admit to. Even last night he recieved a text message from a girl he works with, which I have met once or twice, "hayy big daddy, whatcha doin?" so I responded back as him and asked her what she was doing and she sent back "just missing you". So I pose the question again. What do I do about the issues in my marriage, and am I justified to act on my feelings with my co-worker?
http://www.ehelpp.com
i hope that resolve your problem keep using answers.yahoo.com
gd | Dec 16, 2009
Your core issue is your immaturity.
You and your husband need SERIOUS couples therapy.
ASAP.
xoxoxoxo
IndyGirl | Dec 16, 2009
Stop before you make a huge mistake. Talk to him again without any digs about the bedroom or lack of feeling from him. Tell him how you feel, about everything. That includes your comments about the women texting him. Of course you feel close to this co-worker as you are able to have a conversation with him about your marriage without judgment or ridicule. This is the conversation that you should be having with your husband. If you could use this same technique with your husband you may see results. Ask yourself one question… if your husband knew about these conversations like you know about his texting, would he feel just as insulted and bad as you do? If so, you know that these conversations make it worse.
jacalynfreeborn | Dec 16, 2009
This is so simple, actually: STOP engaging and contacting the other guy. You may think it’s exciting now but the guilt and remorse you will feel afterward will KILL you inside.
It’s obvious something is amiss in your marriage so work on it. Tell your hub that you are feeling a disconnect and want to work to improve your relationship. Go to counseling. Together and alone.
As someone who "went there" I would strongly advise against it. You will hate yourself and then some if you do.
Stef | Dec 16, 2009
I hope you know the difference between being married to a man, living together every day and meeting someone at work. Yes, that work relationship is superficial. It is one thing to have a conversation with someone, but quite another when you live with someone. May I suggest that you sit down with your husband - maybe even go to a restaurant - and discuss your problems with him.
kpopp | Dec 16, 2009
Your co-worker needs a new blow up doll and he is trying to make you it!!!! Don’t be stupid!!!! Do you think your co-worker is going to leave his girlfriend for you!!! he is lying to you about his problems with his girlfriend. if it was that bad, he would just leave her but its not!!! He will will dump you or keep you on the side once he is done with you!!!! If you feel you need to move on, at least do it with someone you can be with if it works out!!! If you fall in love with your co-worker, your heart will get broken when you find out he was just having fun with you!!! If fun is all you want, go for it but you will regret it!!!
Good luck and take your time with what ever you do!!!
PS. ask your co-worker why hasn’t he left his girlfriend, its not like their married.
Verbal | Dec 16, 2009
Wow! you and your husband are in the same boat when it comes to the co-worker business. HOnestly it sounds like you two have lost the fire for each other and the attention from others make you guys stray so easily. What your going through is so common its not funny!
Lets first look at the honesty between the two of you. HOw did you feel seeing that text on his phone from her. I hope you didnt delete it so he can see it and know that you know. if so this will get him to either start talking and telling you whats going on or pull away even more and deny anything.
The same way you felt when you saw that is the same way he will feel about your situation. NOt good I bet. Sit down and have an honest conversation about where you two are with the marriage. YOu sound like you just want the attention of a wife. Meaning you want to feel needed and have imtamacy go out and enjoy him. I dont know what he wants. Men are different they can be distracted easier by a women who talks and act differently from you.
The both of you are infactuated with someone you guys really dont know. Those two co-workers have issues and will act differently if you lived with them.
I say dont sacrifice the marriage for one night of intamacy. Your marriage will never be the same and you will do it again. All because you got away with it. At the end of the day you want to say you tried your hardest, you didnt cheat physically on your husband and you was strong enough to stay true to yourself.
Good Luck but this does not sound good at all for neither of you. Go home and let him know you know about the message and you can understand how this could happen. Ask him what are you guys going to do. Hopefully you can have an honest conversaton with no arguements.
sorry for the misspelled words.
All natatural lady | Dec 16, 2009