Amazing Grace
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How has obsesssive-compulsive disorder affected your relationship with God?
I am Catholic, I am studying theology. In June of last year during the first year of studying Theology, I discovered that I have obsessive-compulsive disorder. I have violent, sexual and religious obsessions (thoughts) and my compulsions are washing my hands, aligning objects with my vision but my religious ones are excessive Confession, praying (especially the act of contrition and forgiving people), preaching until people get irritated and dust their sandals off as a warning to me…and abstaining from holy Communion due to fear of committing the grave sin of sacrilege. But in November of last year I came to the realization that I was doing this all out of fear and out of superstition, I didn’t want to go to Hell or even Purgatory but at the same time I was making a mockery of the Sacrament of Confession because I wasn’t taking my repentance seriously (God showed me this in a dream). I used to be very devoted, praying the Rosary and Divine Mercy, fasting on bread and water, going to adoration and Mass during the week, reading Scripture and spiritual writings, Confessing weekly or even more and preaching people’s ears off. But at the same time in November I was writing exams and I got frustrated and just said F*** and it became a habit, I despaired, I doubted, I became lukewarm and indifferent or at least more than I was and I got drunk, I started masturbating and watching pornography……..I decided to go to Confession jthe Sunday before the New Year and it was amazing for like 2 days but then I saw a picture of breastfeeding and this triggered the fear that I was going to hell and I have fallen from grace because it was porographic and whatever, I also despair because when I feel an attraction (which isn’t sin) to some1 then my mind says that I’m lusting. I am just in a state of despair and fear again and I feel like whats the point of praying, how do I persevere when its so easy to commit sin…….HELP!
PS, funnily enough studying theology has affirmed that Catholicism is the true religion and has not turned me agnostic or atheist…
I asked a similar question a while ago. I posted it in three different sections. Maybe some of the responses I got might help:
1. http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index; _ylt=ApNfq3ekIx1OC3cP5H9lOfbsy6IX;_ylv=3 ?qid=20091107152448AAp3Fvd
2. http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index; _ylt=Ao5iWGu9fyju079NJk29VKvsy6IX;_ylv=3 ?qid=20091107152413AA9OHzf
3. http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index; _ylt=AjejSY8p8b0gma4nRPowHO7ty6IX;_ylv=3 ?qid=20091107152330AAYE73V
Edit: I see people stating that you should go to a therapist instead of a religious figure. Actually, if you do go to therapy, they will probably have you talk to a Priest who has dealt with people that have these types of issue before to resolve the religion-based obsessions and compulsions. A therapist alone might not have the background in religion to help you resolve them. A therapist should be the one to coordinate it though, and help you through the obsessions and compulsions in general.
| Jan 04, 2010
I had to do everything in threes, so I created the trinity :D…
Martin (atheist) | Jan 04, 2010
you can control your desires to a certain extent.
you’re just horny
get laid.
then go back to worshipping god… atleast then you wont worry about comitting adultery.
P.S.
as for the violent thoughts, come near me and i’ll have you arrested
RemRem
| Jan 04, 2010
You need some therapy, and you need to read your New Testament more.
God bless.
John1212 | Jan 04, 2010
I don’t mean this to be offensive, but I think you need genuine help. The church is only going to complicate your already complicated disorder. Religious people are not qualified to help you with a psychological disorder any more than your dentist is.
Metzae | Jan 04, 2010
You need to see a counselor and get on medication for this. You may be trying too hard. God understands that we are not perfect. If you make a mistake, you are not going to go to Hell.
Stop trying to follow these rituals. God loves you and doesn’t need you to go through certain rituals. By following these, you are following what people tell you to do rather than God. Do what it says in the Bible. Pray for forgiveness (not by going to confession, to get forgiveness all you have to do is ask, and you don’t have to go anywhere. You can talk to God anytime and anywhere.) for your thoughts, and ask God to help you change.
cassieglenn46 | Jan 04, 2010
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